Geoffrey B Funny Status Messages

   Dude, I'm not asking you to know pi to the 50th place, I'm asking you to know who's got right of way at a damn intersection!

   You call them "bullies." I call them "crusaders against childhood obesity."

   I was in a Ross' today. Do they always look like they were just hit by an earthquake?

   They say curiosity killed the cat. Which is true, because "curiosity" is also what I nicknamed my shovel.

   Whenever I walk into my local coffee shop, I like to pretend I'm an outlaw walking into an old west saloon. They love it!

   I have to give those Subway sandwich artists credit -- their works do look quite a bit like sandwiches.

   NYTimes: If Trump runs in '12, NBC might cancel "Celebrity Apprentice." He just got my vote

   I would love to one day use the term "blood, sweat and tears" and have more than just the "tears" part be true.

   I had no idea Elton John married Matt Lauer?!

   He's really got his father's scalp.

   So they don't have Rogaine in England, huh?

   I'd like to see Chaz Bono go to DC teach a few Democrats how to be a man.