Doc Noland Funny Status Messages

   Has just left his next instalment on his payback trail at the local BP. Thats right BP, you thought you made a mess. Wait till you get a LOAD of me..thats right, UPPER DECKER

   99 donuts cause the B!tch ate one

   dances with the devil in the pale moon light.

   enjoying the fourth of july, the most american holiday of them all. And what do we do as americans? we drink beer owned by Belgians. (Bud) beer by south Africans, (miller) we eat polish sausages, and shoot fireworks from the Chinese.

   doesnt get drunk, he gets awesome

   Hopes he doesnt black out, cause this is awesome!

   wants you to know... Suck all you want, He will make more.

   knows that hangovers are Gods way of saying you kicked ass last night.

   knows that arguing with you is like running a race in the Special Olympics, you might win but in the end your still a retard.

   Knows that some people are like slinkies, there not really good for anything but they still bring a smile to your face when you push them down the stairs.

   ʇɐ s,oɥ ǝɥʇ ǝɹǝɥʍ˙˙˙ uoıʇısod ʇɥƃıɹ ǝɥʇ uı ʍou ɯɐ ı' ʞo

   once had his Ex crawling toward him on her hands and knees. The thing is, he was under the bed hiding and she was crawling toward him screaming "Come out and fight like a man!"

   Just woke up, took the Lemon out of his mouth, removed the belt from around his neck and headed into work.

   Just got freaky with a Mannequin hand and a electric razor taped to a golf club shaft.

   ex girlfriend just told me that my immaturity erected a barrier between us...I have no idea what she's talking about, but its so funny that she said erected.

   Dear suicidal insects on my windshield: Stop it, I can't see.

   I throw my sandwich in the air sometimes saying ayo I said no mayo.

   hates Pro Football, but I watched Betty White and Abe Vigoda in a backyard football game....Damn!..They sure can take a tough hit. Not like the NFL players.

   Knows a way to keep NFL players from acting like sissies, give them all leather helmets to wear again.

   Breaking News: The National Weather Center has issued a tornado warning for Chattanooga TN. For your own safety head to Neyland Stadium in Knoxville, they're not worried about a touchdown there.......