Corey c Funny Status Messages

   friends don't let friends drink with Ben Roethlisberger.

   no keys were harmed in the making of this status quote.

   if Rambo had a gay son would his name be Rambutt?

   saw clash of the titans last night, my mother in law won the battle.

   Its my day to protect and Serve. Protecting the donuts and serving the coffee is my specialty.

   Once I thought I was wrong, but I was mistaken

   resistance is futile, you will be assimilated. We are facebook.

   Thought about staying home from work today but then I remembered the thousands of people on welfare are depending on me, I owe I owe its off to work I go.....

   There are 3 kinds of people in this world. Ones who make things happen, ones who watch things happen, and ones who wondered what happened.....

   Sorry Monday but it's over. I am leaving you for Tuesday, please don't be sad.....I have to look to the future....

   wonders if anyone has ever fallen asleep at the keyboard and crashed into the monitor....Do they have insurance for that????

   I just descovered 3 words to make any teenager run in terror. "Time To Clean".....

   My son has been sitting at the computer for so long I almost watered him today..........

   My Bathroom scale just did 0 to 235 in 3 seconds, who needs a sports car? Wow thats fast........

   Thinks it is amazing how a spider the size of my thumbnail can make a woman move faster then Bruce Lee on steroids and scream louder then a horror flick chick.....

   If you can get one person to smile then your day was worth while.............

   Wants to find something else for my dryer to eat besides one of every sock.

   Help me, My stomach is eating my throat.......this is a job for pizza man....

   If I go without sun much longer I am going to turn into a bat and fly to my castle......

   Did 4000 eyelid lifts today.......I am tired. time for bed.