Cicci Funny Status Messages

   you know you have a drinking problem if the bartender knows your name.....and you've never even been to that bar before.

   this bar sucks so much I just played every Nickelback song I could find on the jukebox and walked out......take that as$ clowns!

   was wondering if anybody wants to come over and practice the lift from Dirty Dancing because my cat is soooooo not having it right now. Needless to say she did not "have the time of her life" and she owes it all to me.

   I throw my sandwich in the air sometimes sayin "Hey Yo....I asked for mayo".

   there should be a breathalyzer app on my phone to prevent those "late night texts" that I always regret in the morning.

   there should be a breathalyzer app on my phone to prevent thos late night texts that I always regret sending.

   things that will never be said #2638: "Boy that Steve Bushemi sure is a good lookin fella"

   I didn't get a chance to check instagram today....does anyone know if the sun set this evening?

   would you say I have anger issues if everytime the "Wendy's girl" comes on tv I wanna rip my tv off the wall and throw it out on my front lawn and then set fire to it?

   would you say I have anger issues if everytime the "Wendy's girl" comes on I have this urge to rip my tv off the wall and throw it out the window and then run outside and set it on fire?

   I went to the doctor for $hits and giggles because I'm pretty sure those two things arent suppose to happen at the same time.

   Of course I believe in the Zodiac.... I'm a Leo and I love the movie Titanic...if that's not convincing enough, my grandmother is a cancer.......and she was killed by a giant lobster.

   At 37 years old today I think aim in the "Rocky V" stage of my life. #shouldastoppedafterDrago

   Why is it that people who can eat really spicy food think the rest of us give a $hit?

   I've always heard to "live everyday like it was your last" but noticed how much people will actually frown upon that kinda lifestyle.

   It's been three days since bono's luggage fell from his private jet and he "still hasn't found what he's looking for" Eh?

   I guess you could say it's my own fault for ignoring the words "directed by Tyler Perry"

   I can't help but wonder if Bill Cosby's roofies tasted llike a Puddin' Pops.

   Kids Say The Darndest Things: Such as "This Puddin' Pop tastes like roofies"

   My cat will only eat the most expensive cat food out there.....and also lick his own butt hole.