Bill C. Funny Status Messages

   Anyone remember when MTV was "white"?

   When I was 18 I used to worry that I didn't do it enough, now that I'm over 40 I worry I might have to do it.

   Enough with the school closings due to the cold weather. Our kids need an education. Just open the damn schools.

   Please tell your breast to quit staring at me!

   Humor has been cancelled for the day. We look forward to serving you in the near future.

   trying to explain the urine on the ceiling.

   Wondering if Snookie's parents have a bumper sticker that says, "Our daughter is a slut on Jersey Shore" or "Our Slut can beat up your Slut!"

   Yes tomorrow is Friday. Big f-ing deal. It happens every week. Deal with it.

   Friday night: 7pm. The annual Peter pulling contest will be at St. Taffy's. Everyone welcome.

   What's the difference between agal who shops at Walmart and a bowling ball? If you had to you'd could eat the bowling ball...

   Bieber wasn't in that car by chance was he?

   One page of funnies a day is ruining my status as a comedian.

   Now we have to see our suspected gay FB friends under a colored rainbow app...

   Accidentally went grocery shopping hungry and now I'm the proud owner of aisle 6...