Anita Dicken Funny Status Messages

   A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle.

   I wonder if Hostess made Watermelon and Fried Chicken Twinkies if there would have been a bail out?

   Wait. No more deep-fried Twinkies at the fair? Now how am I supposed to kill myself??

   People who live in Orlando that go to Disney World are more ret@rded than New Yorkers who visit the Statue Of Liberty.

   Single White Female, 29, into moshing, mountain climbing, skiing, track and field. Has slight limp.

   I became a professional fisherman, but discovered that I couldn't live on my net income.

   Young lady, what's your blood type? "Uh, fahv nine, paints on da groun....gold toofs...and his hands on his nut$!"

   The only thing more ridiculous than Lindsay Lohan's antics, are those who are obsessed with them.

   Bacon jokes are so played. $hut up already and just go buy some.

   Hey you know those Whitman's Samplers? I had a candy out of one called a Chocolate Truffle". I really dug the sample. So like, where do I get the big fu*ker?

   I need a good cry... I think I'll go weigh myself.

   364 shopping days 'til Christmas and some people already have their lights up.

   When I say I'm done with a facebook chat, that doesn't mean you can keep typing for another 20 minutes. It means I'M DONE CHATTING!

   Adam and Eve had an ideal marriage. He didn't have to hear about all the men Eve could have married, and she didn't have to hear about how well Adam’s mother cooked.

   I love New England!!! (Clam Chowder)

   As far as I'm concerned, it was false advertising. When I transferred funds to the seller, I had no idea that I was buying a dog, not a candy factory. Chocolate Lab indeed....

   Think of a number between 68 and 70....

   "Why do they call it Ovaltine? The mug is round. The jar is round. They should call it Roundtine."

   I want to know who Jimmy Fallon blew to get his late night TV show.

   March. In like a lion, out like a...hang on...wind chill of 34 degrees here in Orlando right now?....Okay....in like a lion, out like a Honey badger.