Akom Funny Status Messages

   Scientists are baffled... Snooki, the tallest of the Oompa Loompa's, is pregnant! They didn't think anything human could possibly live in her!

   I just randomly chose 5 homes and placed "For Sale" "Open House Tonight at 6pm" signs in the front yards. Now I sit and wait for the fun to begin.

   According to the Amcash commercials, I only need my checkbook and last paystub. Apparently, your last paystub from October 2011 doesn't count!

   I was at a bar lasy night where the women were so ugly, it took 50 shades of grey goose to make them look good.

   Maybe it's just me, but I don't mind when a woman gives me the silent treatment...I can finally hear the t.v. then!

   Anyone who's says, "It's better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all", has obviously never gone through a divorce.

   I sat in my stand for hours with not one deer coming by. Then in a matter of minutes, I bag 4 big bucks! Thanks to the Deer Hunter Game, my morning wasn't a total loss.