Acreator24 Funny Status Messages

   When they cut up carrots for frozen mixed vegetables,they get all these perfect squares.What do they do with the curved part?I spent the better part of a night trying to reconstruct one from the bag and there were no pointy ends either.

   I will no longer use Facebook as a vehicle for being a wise ass.I will use it to uplift,edify and educate,as it was intended.

   Went out and mercifully shot my tomato plants this morning. It was the right thing to do. They were so sick and the government wouldn't help me because I am not legally a farmer....the one died right away, but the second took two bullets.

   A memory of grade school math just popped into my head. The images I associated with the alligator eating the larger numbers still haunt me!

   I hand lettered this. Does it look real?

   One of these days I will burst into flames, like Ghost Rider, and steal the souls of those who toss cig butts out of moving vehicles.

   I should have yelled "timberrrr" before I dropped that log 💩

   I'm going to sit quietly in my room today and think about what I did

   Pro tip: when you're watching a show like "my five wives" with your wife, don't suggest potential additional wives.