@tommyjohnagin Funny Status Messages

   One life to live cancelled and Osama finally comes out of his cave. Coincidence?

   They dropped megatron into the ocean...and we all know how that went.

   If you're a man and shave your legs I hope you're ok with being called a pre-op transsexual. P.S. I don't care if you enjoy swimming

   Use tSpelling bee on ESPN. Audience full of proud mom's sitting with dad's who'd rather have an illiterate son who could throw a ball.

   Spelling bee on @espn. Audience full of proud mom's sitting with dad's who'd rather have an illiterate son who could throw a ball

   I'm not sure who was on the elevator before me but they left all of their cologne in here. All of it.

   I had to sit on the floor at the airport so I could charge my phone and iPad. This must be what the depression felt like.

   if there was a more adult way to say "extra chocolate" I would enjoy more shakes in my life.