@seddy90 Funny Status Messages

   Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?

   filled out an application that said, "In Case Of Emergency Notify". I wrote "Doctor"... What's my mother going to do?

   Why is it, "A penny for your thoughts," but, "you have to put your two cents in?" Somebody's making a penny

   In school, every period ends with a bell. Every sentence ends with a period. Every crime ends with a sentence

   You were born as an original. Don't die as a copy

   It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives

   People laugh because I'm different, I laugh because they're al the same

   As a lover, I'm about as impressive as a magician on the radio

   "If you smacked a kid in the face with a bottle of Johnson's No More Tears, would it create beautiful irony?"

   Why do they call it a "building"? It looks like they're finished. Why isn't it a "built"?

   I was the best man at the wedding. If I'm the best man, why is she marrying him?

   'We are born wet, naked, and hungry. Then things get worse

   Mothers of Teenagers Know Why Animals Eat Their Young

   Imagination is something that sits up with Dad and Mom the first time their teenager stays out late."

   Has anybody ever enjoyed moving ever? I now hate our mattress.

   Feel bad for eating sushi at my desk in front of my goldfish.

   Some families can trace their ancestry back three hundred years, but can't tell you where their children were last night.

   Do you know what happens to little boys who continually interrupt? They grow up and make a fortune doing TV commercials.

   Appearances can be deceiving - a dollar bill looks the same as it did twenty-five years ago.

   Ability is what will get you to the top if the boss has no daughter.