@austincreel Funny Status Messages

   If the happy in love couples are called "love birds" the miserable fighting couples should be called "angry birds"

   The three stages of a relationship: 1. xoxo, 2. xxx & 3. ex

   If a guy treats you like a princess, he was obviously raised by a queen. If he treats you like crap, well..he was raised by someone along the lines of michael vick.

   "THIS, IS, SPARTA!" "Grandma, please stop kicking the dog down the stairs..."

   I'm going to spend Valentine's day with my ex..... Box 360

   Skinny Jeans: For guys who took "I got in her pants" the wrong way...

   If someone throws Skittles at you and yells "taste the rainbow" run them over with your car and yell "Nationwide is on your side!"

   Santa works one day a year and spends the other 364 judging people. Where can I apply for this job?