@Squishy_Penguin Funny Status Messages

   My arms are so sore from playing Wii, I can't even wank it.

   Oatmeal is only good for the first 8 bites...then you start playing with it.

   Good morning! Looks like you need a shot of wake the fok up!?

   You would think when you offer someone gum they would take it, but no some don't...maybe next time I can just hand them a toothbrush ad toothpaste and they will get the message!

   So my mom just got her citizenship and she wants to change her name to Bunny!!? WTF. I'm dreading the day when I have to introduce her to my fiance. Mom seriously just keep your 10 letter hard to prounounce Asian name!

   Yes. I am aware that my shirt is wrinkled and no I didn't feel like ironing it....don't judge me.