@RonnieChapman Funny Status Messages

   Got "White Boy Wasted" last night..  it's only right I go see The Hangover Part II today..  :)

   Woah.. the room is spinning.. I knew the world revolved around me.. ;)

   Never get on one knee for a girl that won't get on two for you..

   saw a butterfly today with no wings, so I poured red bull on it and BAMMMM... it died :(

   Girls want a fairy tale relationship, guys want a happy ending. ;)

   If you close your eyes when you're at the gym, it sounds like you're in a porno..

   Funny how things change with time, I used to hate spankings.. ;)

   Whenever you're feeling down, I'll be there to feel you up. ♥

   Making girls who "aren't like that," like that. All Day, Every day.

   Relationships are a winter sport..

   We all have a "friend" we don't even like..

   It's all shlts and giggles till someone giggles and shlts..

   Them gas prices going down like White girls in a college town!

   I always keep an emergency $25 gift card in my back pocket for those unexpected gifts that I get from people I wasn't expecting to get a gift from..

   Girl I would strap 45 lb plates to my ball sack and swim up the Amazon river with Rosie O'Donnell's queef as my air supply to prove my value to you.

   I bet Jim Harbaugh used to unplug the Nintendo when his brother was winning.

   Boat on land. Worst escape vehicle ever.

   I was half way to work when I realized I forgot my phone charger. I had to do what most people would have done... turn back around and go get it.

   This whole rescue could have been avoided if he just stayed in his vehicle. He should have called it in and waited for ems to arrive.

   Dear sluts, This might come as a surprise to you, but your boobs go inside your shirt. Just kidding, show me your tiitties