Mick F Funny Status Messages

   Newt Gingrich is the Republican front runner? I wouldn't bother getting those moving boxes just yet, Barack.

   The biggest trick life plays on us, is the inability to fully appreciate something until it's gone. Except for broccoli.

   I love the holidays. A time when people are supposed to be more nice and caring, actually become bigger a$$holes than they are the rest of the year.

   Some guy is yelling, "Man, I'm fu*kin' such an idiot!" I said, "That's poor grammar, you should say, "Man, I'm such a fu*kin' idiot." He goes, "Naw man, I mean I'm having sex with someone with an IQ of 25 or lower."

   The day before the annual Gregorian calendar re-set. Here's where I get all sappy and tell my pals how much they rock. You guys are the best. Happy New Year!

   That Sinking Feeling: Facebook has worked very hard at making its new Timeline Profiles look like MySpace.

   Patients To An Indifferent Medical Staff At A Penile Implant Clinic: "Can't we all just get a long?"

   Today, I had the greatest Sunday dinner ever. I can't begin to define the level of greatness that this meal possessed. It was so great, I can't actually tell you you how truly great it was. I had Frosted Flakes.

   I just finished the last of the Girl Scout Thin Mints I've been hoarding. Child labor laws, schmabor laws. Those kids bake a damn good cookie.

   When it comes to music...Rock...um...uh...ROCKS.

   If I was ever given just one month to live, I'd watch a baseball game. It's an eternity.