fadolo Funny Status Messages

   "It's complicated" is Facebook for "he's not hittin' it right."

   Young guys with beards are always secretly sad when you talk to them & don't compliment their beard.

   I understand how people feel when they see their ex with someone else. I feel the SAME way when I see the pizza guy at somebody else house

   Three skiers kiled in an avalanche today... meanwhile in my living room me and my beer remain totally safe.

   Wish I was rich enough to own a room full of bees & if someone upset me I could order my muscular butler to "Take them to the Bee Room!"

   My kids got in a fist fight while playing one of those claw machines at the pizza joint & sh@t like that is why I'm never sober.

   Apparently, I can't say "Blak paint!" any more. I have to be PC and say, "Please paint that wall, Leroy."

   Your picture on Facebook (`▽´) .Your face in real life (‾(••)‾)

   I like to throw a fake punch at a hooker's crotch. If she flinches, I know it's a dude.

   Shoutout 2 all the dark skinned girls with the cheetah print tattoo that looks like a 2nd degree burn.

   Hold up Biatch (┌'-')┌︻╦̵̵͇̿̿̿̿╤── \(‾- ‾\) where is my mutha fucckin sauce for my Mc. Nuggets!

   I have a friend named Jay. We call him J for short.

   I pissed a taxi driver off today. I told him to reverse all the way to my house. He had to pay me $8.20

   | ( • )( • ) | Spongebob / ( • )( • ) \ Patrick ( (•)(•) ) Squidward | (•) | Plankton |•||•| Mr. Krabs

   Dudes be talking that "I fear nothing but god" b.s but let a loose pitbull start running down the street.

   Gas prices are about $3.95 a gallon and females still think guys are coming over to just "CHILL"

   HOW LONG IS THIS DORITOS COMMERCIAL!? Grandma, that's just Jersey Shore...

   (-_(-_(-_(*-_-)_-)_-) (>^_^)> }¡{ Dammiit Dude quit chasing that butterfly & get back over here

   FYI: If you beep your horn .03 seconds after the light changes green, I will shut off my car, lay on the hood, and feed birds for an hour!

   You sit quietly under a needle for hours getting a tattoo but if I touch you with my ice cold feet you let out a bloodcurdling scream.