doc Noland Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon I like Cee Lo's "Forget You," but it doesn't compare to N.W.A.'s "Forget Tha Police"
←Rate | 09-15-2011 23:32 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon Kansas "Dust in the Wind" came on the air while I was looking for a Frozen Dinner for ONE. God wants me Dead!
←Rate | 09-17-2011 15:41 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon It takes real courage to suck another man's c@ck. And any man who can do it can dern well defend the nation I love.
←Rate | 09-20-2011 11:36 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon what started out as a joke, ended up me sleeping on the stairs for 2 hours.
←Rate | 09-20-2011 13:50 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon Roses are Red, Nuts are brown, Skirts go Up, Pants go Down, Body to Body, Skin to Skin, When it is Stiff, Stick it In, The Longer its In, The stronger it Gets, It goes in Dry, Comes out Wet, It comes out dripping,and it starts to Sag, Its a teabag
←Rate | 09-25-2011 18:21 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's ironic that there's only one I in Forest Whitaker.
←Rate | 10-03-2011 12:26 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon At the end of the day, I just want to be loved but at the beginning of the day, gotta get rif of this morning wood.
←Rate | 10-03-2011 14:02 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon The first time sleeping over a girl's place is always awkward 'cause I have to explain who I am, how I got in, & why I'm crying...still single
←Rate | 10-03-2011 21:14 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon The cover of my book will be a sledge hammer about to crush a engagment ring! That, or a close-up of me in a fetal position sucking my thumb.
←Rate | 10-03-2011 21:21 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon I hate it when you finally fall in love & your girlfriend's all "Who are you? Put down my dog. I'm calling the police."
←Rate | 10-04-2011 01:56 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon The inventor of Doritos is dead. Somewhere, the inventor of Bugles is playing "Taps."
←Rate | 10-05-2011 00:03 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon All I pray is that when I die the death certificate does not contain the phrases "straining at stool" or "unusual mummification".
←Rate | 10-05-2011 01:46 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon Trying really hard to have a good day. There is not nearly enough genital touching going on for that to happen though.
←Rate | 10-05-2011 01:47 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon The crap I can say with a perfectly straight face is illegal in 48 states. The other two just haven't met me yet.
←Rate | 10-05-2011 01:49 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just discovered there is a level of sadness where happy songs are way more depressing than sad songs.
←Rate | 10-05-2011 02:16 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon Trying really hard to have a good day. There is not nearly enough genital touching going on for that to happen though.
←Rate | 10-05-2011 02:17 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon Nothing like a sentence that goes nowhere.
←Rate | 10-10-2011 00:20 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon When measuring your pen!s, you start from your prostate, right?
←Rate | 10-10-2011 00:21 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon A rose by any other name would smell as sweet. Then again, we'd eat less hot dogs if they were called "pig lips & horse nipple tubes".
←Rate | 10-10-2011 00:58 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's always five o'clock in my liver
←Rate | 10-10-2011 00:59 by Doc Noland Comments (0)  




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