Steve OH Funny Status Messages

   Don't know what I did but kids have been coming to my house and giving me bags full of candy all night!!!

   I don't like the Republican Party and I don't like the Democratic Party... I just like to PARTY

   Totally forgot about the Hemorrhoid Commercial...

   Not sure if I slept or just drifted into a brief coma... can't explain this taste in my mouth either.

   Am I the only one in Crocks?

   thankful my kids taught me how to Copy and Paste...

   I wonder why George Bailey never told Mr. Potter to just SUCK IT...

   Times are short and Money is hard... Here's Your Effin Christmas Card!!!

   It's so cool you can make Facebook PINK!!! said by no one, ever.

   ... This is Lawrence, Kansas... Is there anybody out there?... Anybody at all?

   It's only a matter of time before the red, squiggly line disappears from the word Gangnam ...

   Merry Hammered People!!!! I'm Christmas!!!!

   Can't believe i've made it all week without stabbing anyone in the neck with a pencil...

   My friend said, "Dude, i'm drunk, call me a cab." I handed him a beer and said, "You're a cab." (true story)

   The difference between people with tattoos and those without is, people with tattoos don't judge those without...

   You know you had a good night when you go to the bathroom the next morning and get the full effect of all the stool softener you drank...

   Fast forward to the drive-thru one...

   I love walking on the beach with my girlfriend…until the LSD wears off and I'm just dragging a stolen mannequin around a parking lot...

   I bought the wife a hamster skin coat last week. Took her to the fair last night and it took me 3 hours to get her off the Ferris wheel...

   why did I never realize a mustache is just a mouthbrow...