Kisstopher Funny Status Messages

   Be the girl that all the guys want. Not the girl all the guys HAD.

   She asked me how to spell slut. So I helped her spell her name.

   Sow a thought, reap an act. Sow an act, reap a habit. Sow a habit, reap a character. Sow a character, reap a destiny!

   I hate when somebody claims they are mad at you but won't tell you why.

   Blaming others for your misfortune can ruin your health -- which you'll probably just blame on somebody else too.

   You know you're fat when you run out of breath eating.

   Some guys mess up and lose a good woman because they are so used to dealing with sluts that they have forgotten what it takes to keep a real woman.

   Always be thankful for another day of life because you never know when it's gonna be your last.

   There are two types of people I hate in this world: Nosey people AND people who won't tell me what the hell is going on in their lives.

   Ladies: Never make an important decision while you're on your period.

   A COMPLICATED RELATIONSHIP is born when the KING of mixed signals hooks up with the QUEEN of second thoughts.

   Love doesn't cost a thing; except tears, a broken heart, wasted years and half your stuff.

   The moment you stop giving a damn is the moment things get easier and better.

   Condoms should change to different colors according to whatever disease they come in contact with.

   Love is pain, and anyone who says otherwise is trying to sell you something.

   That uneasy moment when you realise Facebook has made more CHANGES than OBAMA.

   Its my birthday today and I am feeling so special even the supermarket doors are opening by themselves when they see me coming through.

   I get offended when people assume I think and care about them.Who died and made you money?

   Not everyone who plays with you is on your team.

   A man asked a prostitute, “How much is one round?” The Prostitute replies,"100 on the bed, 50 on the sofa and 20 on the floor. The man gives her 100 and the Prostitute says, 'Wow a classy guy' The man replies, “classy my a$$, I want 5 times on the