flipphonescott Funny Status Messages

   Whoever blew bubbles as a kid , he is back in town looking for you!

   Even my dinner tasted like Monday

   I THINK 50 shades of grey is our weather forecast!!!!

   i am taking the pit bull and the points in the puppy bowl

   Sometimes the wine glass is just a waste of time

   Due to the election I may start a moving co.

   voting this year is like picking out what STD do you want!!!!!!! you know is going to burn!

   OK WHO NEEDS MOVING BOXES?

   DO YOU THINK BILL CLINTON HAS BEEN HIDING FROM HIS WIFE ALL DAY!

   Named my daughter after my mother in law. In fact, Passive Aggressive Psycho turns 5 tomorrow

   I AM SO READY TO KISS 2016 GOODBYE!

   i have been upgraded to Santas naughty list Platinum member

   DID YOU HEAR ABOUT THE 2 GUYS THAT STOLE A CALENDER ? THEY BOTH GOT 6 MONTHS!!!

   i am starting a go-fund-me page to gave a giraffe a c-section

   Man I am beat! Feel like I just flew on United

   ever look at somebodys feet and there toes look like Fritoes

   i put my phone on plane mode and then it kicked my ass!

   I HAVE SEEN MORE of tiger woods on facebook today than him on the pga tour in years