SULLY Funny Status Messages

   I hate mosquitoes, they're like nature's version of a Jehovah's Witness..........

   Its Soo Hot....The Jehovah Witnesses ain't even out today.

   Pretty sure the founders didn't intend for the 4th of July to be on a Wednesday.Thanks a lot Obama.........

   I'm convinced these mosquitoes are on bath salts.....

   If Obama had a son he would be unemployed........

   BREAKING: Penn State to keep Paterno statue, but plan to move it into the showers....Or something like that?

   Wow, that's a nice looking pair of crocs!" - Said by no one. Ever.

   Watching "Hitler's Hemorrhoids" on the Military channel......

   Thanks to '50 Shades of Grey', my wife's Kindle now smells like 50 cans of tuna.

   The cats puke looks pretty much exactly like normal cat food. I wonder if they would notice if I just put it back in their bowl?

   The NCAA should allow Penn State to continue playing football, but their scores shouldn't be reported for 15 years.

   If I hear one more foreigner accusing us of having a "culture of violence" I'm gonna blow their brains out.

   Between James Holmes, the Penn State case, and the Penn State fans... there's just a lot of sick people in the world. Trust no one!!

   It would be cool if Chick-Fil-A replaced the muppet toys with boy scout action figures.......

   I'm starting to get a wee bit tired of these retro ecards. I prefer reading status's in 3D, real time....

   Today I will celebrate the opening of the Olympic games with my own feat of endurance: sitting at my desk all day...

   Every morning you have two choices: be productive and really shine, OR pour some coffee, log inn and start posting. Hello, darlings.

   In honor of Michael Phelps 4th place finish, I'm firing up the bong.......

   Silver for Phelps : ( Someone should have taped a blunt to the other end of the pool, then he would have won the gold.

   This leftist boycott of Chick FiL A is the first actual economic stimulus of the Obama era........