Kisstopher Funny Status Messages

   I am going to change your relationship status from “Taken” to “Stolen”

   When you steal a woman from another man in the middle of their relationship, don't be surprise tomorrow when someone else steals her from you coz she has already proven that she is steal-able.

   Fellas: If your woman starts updating her Facebook status right in the middle of having sex with you, it might be a clue that you are not doing her right.

   Dear London Rioters: There is a big damn difference between, rioting for Freedom, and rioting for Free Stuff.

   In my lifetime I have learnt that women, who appear quiet, shy and innocent looking in public are actually the biggest freaks behind closed doors.

   It makes no sense to commit yourself in a relationship if you still expect to have single people's privileges.

   Poking holes in your friend's condoms; it's all fun and games until your girlfriend ends up pregnant.

   Wedding rings are bad for your circulation.

   Let everyone know what is on your mind, but let only a few know what is in your heart.

   Don't be pushed around by your problems; be led by your courage.

   Ghetto Word Of The Day: DELIGHT Usage: She gotta big ass but her face is trash so when we do it I gotta turnoff delight.

   I think things did not work out between us because we both loved the same person; I loved you and you loved yourself.

   Don't stare at me. Because then I have to stare back at you and, why make me suffer?

   Fellas: No woman will bother going after your heart if all you talk about is how fat your bank account is and how big your d*ck is. You sell what you advertise.

   Guy's Remember : While You're Sitting There All Day Playing Call Of Duty , Your Girl Is Calling Someone Else To Come And Do Your Duty .

   Officer, I'm not Fred Flintstone, I didn't "run" a red light, I drove through it.

   Some girls date bad boys because they think they can 'fix them'. Stop it, he is not a broken car and you are not a mechanic.

   Kris Humphries and Kim Kardashian might be the first time in history that the roles have been reversed and a ball player has trapped a hoe.

   If 10 minutes after sex, the man is not hungry and the woman is not passed out, temporarily paralyzed, then somebody didn't do their job right.

   How are you gonna dress like a ho, talk like a ho, walk like a ho, act like a ho, and then get mad when you are approached like a ho, addressed like a ho and treated like a ho? Silly ho.