Jackoo Funny Status Messages

   My iPhone is like a time machine. I go to spend a couple of minutes on Twitter and Facebook and suddenly it's an hour later

   Have you ever noticed people who work in designer stores have attitudes like they can afford to not work in a store?

   Got my wife some lovely perfume for Xmas, its called Tester.. Hope she likes it.

   Paris Hilton is the kind of girl who would buy tickets to see Xbox Live.

   I need a female exercise partner. When I say exercise I mean emotionless sex.

   No one is being forced to read my posts, unfriend me or I'll block you at the slightest hint of dissatisfaction. I'm helpful like that

   If you're in a relationship. I don't know why you feel the need to upload 10 selfies a day. Look at your boyfriend instead of a camera . You attention seeking hoe

   Ladies no amount of alcohol should ever make you go barefoot in the club. You are not Wilma Flintstone

   Just want to wish all my beautiful Facebook friends a Happy New Year. And for all those who get offended by my posts. I hope you die in 2014

   Apparently “bae” means “before anyone else.” I always thought it was an extremely ghetto word for “babe”...

   It's not my fault I'm dyslexic, it's in my NDA.

   Omg look at my baby scans, they are so original and definitely don't look exactly the same as every other baby in the world.

   ts not attractive to constantly look surprised! So get your crayons out and sketch a different pair of eyebrows please

   Its not attractive to constantly look surprised! So get your crayons out and sketch a different pair of eyebrows please

   This Year I'm going to spend Valentine's day with my ex...... Box One

   Too many snakes and not enough ladders these days