santa AND presents AND christmas AND xmas AND holidays AND elfs Funny Status Messages

   Can someone tell me when Santa is coming? He forgot some of the stuff I asked for

   One of my biggest fears is I'll marry into a family that runs 5Ks on holidays

   If you got a big screen TV for Christmas be sure to put the empty box with your neighbor's trash. That way, their house will get robbed and not yours.

   Slightly used Christmas tree only one month old. Paid $60. Looking for $40. No low ballers. Serious inquiries only.

   Life was a lot easier when I believed in Santa Claus. . .

   Well the Christmas tree is out of the house, and back on the rear view mirror.

   I'm finally opening my Christmas gifts. I have to hand it to my family, when you talk about recycling, they define the term. The boxes are old. I mean boxes with Christmas Seals on them from 1957 and held t

   All of these special little "holidays..." I heard they were gonna have a national "I Don't Give A Sh*t" day... But no one gave a sh*t so it never happened.

   Well Easter is almost over, just saw Walmart employees putting up Christmas Decorations......

   Cinco de Mayo makes me long for a world in which all holidays are conveniently named after the dates on which they fall.

   It's October...Which means it's time for people to put up the Christmas decorations they took down in July.

   Want to confuse people this Halloween? Wear a Santa Claus suit as your costume.

   I know it's early..but I often forget things, so I've just written my letter to Santa, warning him not to drink the milk at Bill Cosby's place!!

   Halloween is over time to put up the Christmas decorations.

   With Christmas just around the corner, it's important to remember to never trust electronics buying advice from people who have Beats headphones.

   I bought a new Christmas Tree today. The shop owner said to me, "Are you going to put that up yourself?", "No" I replied, "I was thinking to put it in the Lounge!"

   Santa Claus is jolly because he knows where all the naughty girls live.

   Claustrophobic : A person afraid of Santa Claus

   R. M. Was turned down on his offer to play santa at an all girls middle school.

   breaking news... sorry folks, christmas has been cancelled due to santa being fired for asking a girl if she had been naughty or nice...