Flinnie Funny Status Messages

   Not to brag, but my antics at work resulted in several items being added to the employee manual.

   To the teenager that flipped me off for honking at you. Your phone is on top of your car.

   America won't be truly great again until we eradicate anyone who willingly orders coleslaw as a side

   I'm so glad that the Subaru boxcar hobo commercial had a 'do not attempt' disclaimer. I was on the verge of a major lifestyle change

   Can anyone recommend a good book to tell people I'm reading?

   Life doesn’t hand me lemons, it fires them at me rapidly from a lemon cannon.

   My theory is that Big Foot is in hiding because he's self conscious about the size of his feet.

   A Christmas Carol is the heartwarming tale of how rich people must be supernaturally terrorized into sharing.