Funny Status Messages

   You knew it was coming: Marvel has fallen to the Woke Mob, introduces trans superheroes.

   Let me get this straight, we can send 40 billion to eastern Europe, but Elon Musk buying Twitter for 40 billion could have solved world hunger?

   Being forced to watch the Feds spend billions of your tax dollars on a corrupt foreign war while struggling with record high inflation.

   Johnny Depp is the one guy that could've used an amber alert.

   "The woke mob' aka acknowledging that people different then you exist

   There should only be one color! God made a mistake.

   Please stop asking the universe to send you the most amazing and beautiful person in the world. I cannot be everywhere all at once.

   Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven eight nine.

   I’ve spent a lot of time, money, and effort childproofing my house, but they still get in.

   Then the son asked his dad, “I’m still confused. Was I born in a nest or a hive?”

   There once was a chap named Joe Biden, some think he’s as old as Poseidon. His panicking staff, locked the lord of the gaffe, in a basement where he is still hidin’.

   A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother.

   There once was a couple Depp and Heard, in who’s bed they discovered a turd. They beat each other up, without a prenup, and did drugs that they preferred.

   “The real president is whoever controls the teleprompter.” ~ Elon Musk

   The Feds have been stockpiling baby formula at the southern border for months. More proof who gets priority and who does not.

   Tinder is for rookies. Go to Marketplace and search for wedding dresses. This will show you recently divorced females in your area. From there you can filter by size.

   oglondam anime uwu

   The biggest joke on mankind is that computers have now started asking humans to prove they are not a robot.

   Trying to figure out how I spent 15k on chicken nuggets this year.

   Never forget where you came from, because that’s probably where you left your phone.