minnie haha Funny Status Messages

   Tomato basil soup is just a fancy way to make people drink pizza sauce.

   Just lit a cigarette off the stove...in case you were looking for someone with mad MacGyver skills.

   Where do we cash out these Likes? I need gas money, and by gas money I mean booze.

   First rule of ADHD club: Never talk about..Nice hat! You ever own a hamster? I did. Lost him in the dryer. Do you like dachshunds? Watch me do a cartwheel! Okay, who wants brownies?

   Busy planning my next big move. Do I lay on couch, or chill in the recliner? I've only got one shot at this, so I gotta make it count.

   Screw Daylight Savings Time. Losing an hour on the weekend means we're one hour closer to Monday. Dammit.

   This job fair sucks... They don't have one ride...

   Well, today I found out that they don't like you to wear roller skates in the mall! Or maybe they were mad cuz I didn't have pants on.....not sure which one.

   Daylight Savings Time means I’ll be hungover one hour less than usual this Sunday.

   Discovery Channel - Conspiracies and Myths "Finding The Tooth Fairy" is on...... I hope they find her, that biotch still owes me money from when I was 6.

   This complimentary lemonade at the doctor's office tastes funny.

   I won employee of the month!!!.... again! I love being self employed.

   Anyone else having trouble with these nicotine patches? Mine melt as soon as I light them.

   Why in the heck are there stitch marks on zombies? Who's giving them medical attention?

   Marriage. Because your sh*tty day doesn't have to end at work.

   If you can read this please let me know - because it means I blocked the wrong person.

   I think I might have had a wee bit too much green beer last night. I woke up this morning next to Paddy O’Furniture.

   May the beer rise up to meet you and may your bar tab be picked up by someone else, and may the hangover be far from you. Happy St. Paddy's Day!

   Actually, my ancestors are from the County just down the road from County Cork. Perhaps you've heard of County Screw Top?

   I have mixed drinks about feelings..