flipphonescott Funny Status Messages

   FYI 'I'm here so I won't get fined'

   I am not real pumped up about the Super Bowl this year! ‪

   i knew The Kardashians.we going to screw us up. look what it did too Bruce!!! freaking 0.j.

   i think the NFL may be getting close in over hyping the superbowl!

   I have lots of great personality traits. Or as my doctor calls them, symptoms.

   Some days, the supply of available curse words is insufficient to meet my demands!

   what wine goes with Mood Stabilizers

   i have completed 38 of the 50 shades of grey

   my life coach told me to just let the clock run out!

   I need to stop lying to myself !!! This bag of Reese cups will never make it to Halloween !

   They can quit giving me phone books. Just saying

   Ever watch the tv show 2 broke girls and get jealous of their bank account

   OK WHERE CAN I EAT AT AND NOT PISS EVERYBODY OFF?

   CAN I JUST GET A DAMM CUP OF COFFEE?

   ever have a large lunch and go up a cup size?

   so is anybody in the bathroom,drinking wine out of a red solo cup, hiding from the family yet?

   no really what are reindeer games ?

   pulled my groin playing reindeer games!

   somedays my inner child kinda runs the place

   MY GOAL FOR 2016 IS JUST DO LIFE BETTER!