XX-FOXY Funny Status Messages

   No babe, don't send me the nude pictures. Send me a picture of your medicine cabinet. I'd like to know what kind of psycho I'm dealing with...

   NEWS UPDATE: Donald J. Trump has dropped Mexico, China and Iran from his enemies list and added the 9th Circuit Court and Nordstrom.

   30 years ago today, "Licensed to Ill" was the #1 Album...

   When a man says he'll do anything for a woman, he means slaying dragons, killing zombies and rescuing her from castle towers. IT DOES NOT MEAN cleaning garage, fixing roof and cleaning out the basement!!!

   If you see an animal stuck in a trap, free them! If you see a child crying, comfort them! If you see Justin Bieber crossing the street, HIT THE GAS!!!

   Today I ask God for patience to deal with stupid people and courage to tolerate their ignorance, because Lord only knows if I ask for strength I might beat them to death...

   The worst sanction on Vladimer Putin: We send Justin Bieber to Russia!

   America: the only country in the world where not wearing a seat-belt carries a bigger penalty then letting hackers steal 143 million citizens social security numbers, bank info, drivers licenses and credit cards...

   If I were a cannibal I'd only eat vegetarians, just for the irony...

   I hope someday I will be able to afford an iPhone X... Like the girl in front of me paying for her groceries with food stamps...

   Other than insecurity, hatred & racism, sexism & discrimination, greed, infidelity and sheer stupidity most of the human race is pretty much perfect...

   Ambition is the path to success. Persistence is the vehicle you arrive in...

   You know it was a rough night when your iPhone X doesn't recognize your face in the morning...

   Q: How do you play the ISIS bingo? A: B-52...F-16...B-1...

   Android > BlackBerry > Nokia > Fax > Landline phone > 2 cans and a string > Message in a bottle > Pigeon with a note taped to it > iPhone with iOS 11

   On Sunday France plays Croatia... Their defense will try to last 90 minutes and beat their World War II record...

   Some girls don't like to walk in the rain because it puts their face back to the default factory settings...