Steve OH Funny Status Messages

   It might be HOT but at least there's no BREEZE...

   I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can't put it down!!!

   We've reached that unfortunate time of the year when all the white guys put on their Hawaiian shirts and think they're Jimmy Buffet!

   Did you ever notice all the people in casino commercials are young, attractive and not in need of oxygen?

   I don't care what time it is!!! Grilling without a BEER is like going to church and not PRAYING.

   Just because you LIKED my awesome status does not mean I have to LIKE the picture of your food...

   Remember... Sometimes you have to sacrifice the fat kid to save yourselves.

   Finally met the new neighbor. An uncanny resemblance to Satan!! Maybe that's why it's been so hot...

   I wish we could "Hand Pick" who gets knocked off line on Monday!!!

   Just witnessed my dog catch fire while "draggin' ass" on our dead lawn.

   Hung like Einstein smart as a horse... Thanks dad.

   WTF.... (welcome to facebook)

   My liver works harder for two days than I do all week...

   Practicing my "Eye Rolling" cause you know... tomorrow's Monday.

   Farmers complaining about the drought. Why not just buy corn at the store??..... idiots

   Okay Canadians you win... When you convert Fahrenheit to Celsius, it's only 46.6 here in the states.

   FYI - Double check whats in the cup on the nightstand before waking up and taking a big drink.... Nothing like watered down crown and coke first thing in the morning...

   My 80 year young mother in law and I are fighting over who's gonna drive to the strip club..... priceless

   shhhh.. i'm waiting behind the door. gonna blindside monday with a swift kick in nuggets.

   Phrases i'll never understand... #72 - "Those two are in cahoots." WTH is cahoots and why does it take two???