Jackoo Funny Status Messages

   Kate is officially a milf

   Don't let anyone with bad eyebrows give you advice about life

   I've spent 50% of my life learning how to live without sex and alcohol and the other 50% happy.

   My girlfrand said she bought the lingerie for me, but then got upset when I put it on. I don't get women.

   I swear girls these days. Some of them wake up with a higher sperm count than the men

   Don't feel bad if you don't enjoy my posts. The important thing to remember is that I do. I enjoy all of them. That's what matters.

   We have to stop this recent culture of people telling us they're offended and expecting us to give a f**k.

   Even though Halloween is meant to be about dressing up as scary evil monsters, people still complain if you go as Hitler

   being healthy is basically dying as slowly as possible

   If she gets up and goes and makes you a sandwich after sex. You're not doing it right

   My life is like a romantic comedy expect there's no romance and it's just me laughing at my own jokes

   My girlfriend is so dumb. It's just me and her alone in the living room and she turns around and says "who's farted"

   One day there's gonna be a huge memorial dedicated to the people who sacrificed their lives to sit at a computer for the majority of their existence

   When you are dead, you do not know you are dead. It's only painful and difficult for others. The same applies when you are stupid.

   Someone said to me "I can never think of anything important or interesting to say on Facebook." I told them not to worry"

   If you lost your iphone last night please let me know. Because I need that charger too

   If stupidity was fatal, it would be a wonderful world and a lot less crowded.

   If you ever get angry at one of my posts, the last thing you should do is tell me about it. That just makes it even funnier for me

   The closer I get to the toielt, the worse I have to go. It never fails

   That one password you use for everything and if anyone ever figured it out they could single-handedly ruin your entire life.