Abraham lincoln Funny Status Messages

   I think it is so impolite for people to sneak up on you while you are talking about them behind their back!!!

   I'm not saying you're ugly! I'm just saying you're a 12 pack away from being why type!!!

   If I stop my car for you to walk across the street, I better see some hustle out of you! Knee's to chest b!tch , knee's to chest!!!

   It's amazing how little information I need on someone before I decide I don't like them!!!

   Avoid arguements about the toilet seat.........use the sink!!!

   Everyone seems Normal until you get to know them!!!

   A paper boy said to a customer ''Mr Smith, I wish I had 20 customers like you!'' ''Wow thats ice to hear considering I never tip and always pay late.'' said Smith The paper boy said ''I know, that's why I'd like 20 customers like you, I have 150 right now

   It is a scientific fact that the gravatational pull of a woman's cleavage on a man's eyes is too strong to be fought!!!

   Looks like Jerry Sandusky is still screwing kids(players) at Penn State even after he's gone!

   ''If all Men are created equal, where's the rest of your Pen!s?!!!

   Whenever I buy a box of condoms I always look the cashier in the eyes and say ''Where's your fitting room?!''

   Chick-fil-a has been taking alot of heat for it's stance against Same Sex Marriage! To show they are progreesing with trhe times,they I'll be releasing a new food item today. The ''Chick on Chick'' Sandwich!

   Trying to understand some people is like trying to pick up a turd by the clean end!!!

   I didn't post this status somebody else made it happen!!!

   Never take a Chess enthusiast to a restaurant with checkered tablecloths!......It'll take them an hour to pass the salt!!!

   It's all fun and games til you lose your wifi..........ok, wife!

   A Blonde was asked what her password was and she said ''MickeyMinniePlutoHueyLouieDeweyDonaldGoofySacramento''....When asked why such a long password she replied ''Well Hello! It has 8 characters and at least one Capital!!''

   Relax........Let's get back to the important things in life! Like stealing eachothers status!

   How did flying babies in diapers wielding Bow & Arrows ever become a symbol of love?!!!

   Sherman Hemsley(George Jeferson) has passed on! In his own words he would probably say ''Somehow a Honky is behind this!!!''