Tjshome.com
Funny Status Messages
Submit Status
TJ's Blog
Image Filters
Contact US
Submit a Status Message
Funny Status Messages
Sort:
Recent
|
Oldest
|
Rating
Search Messages:
«Prev
«1
5667
5668
5669
5670
5671
5672
5673
5674
6371
Next»
Page: 5671 of 6371
My wife and I broke because of my gambling...... I hit the lottery and left her.
5
7
←Rate |
05-12-2018 16:51 by
Jake
Comments (
1
)
God gave us shins so we could find things in the dark.
2
2
←Rate |
05-12-2018 16:53 by
Jake
Comments (
0
)
remember moms, if you smell burnt toast you're not having a stroke...its the kids trying to make breakfast
9
2
←Rate |
05-12-2018 20:32 by
Eddy
Comments (
0
)
Bruce Jenner must be so confused today
13
5
←Rate |
05-13-2018 09:32
Comments (
0
)
Today I made sushi at home for the first time. I subsituted a hotdog for the raw tuna, a bun for the rice, and mustard for the wasabi!
7
3
←Rate |
05-13-2018 20:26 by
@UncleBSolomon
Comments (
0
)
I was trying to think of something really deep to post this morning. The Mariana Trench comes to mind.
7
2
←Rate |
05-14-2018 06:43
Comments (
0
)
Before we begin, I’d like to get a little weird.
2
2
←Rate |
05-14-2018 08:32
Comments (
0
)
Trust is just something that was made up to sell relationships
7
1
←Rate |
05-14-2018 08:33
Comments (
0
)
I'm so old I remember when sex was dirty and the air was clean.
9
2
←Rate |
05-14-2018 10:11
Comments (
0
)
Haikus are fun / But sometimes they make no sense / Refrigerator.
2
2
←Rate |
05-14-2018 10:49
Comments (
0
)
I'm no English major, but shouldn't Apple's Tim Cook have encouraged those graduates to "think differently"??
6
1
←Rate |
05-14-2018 12:15
Comments (
0
)
I refer to avocados a "Shrekticles" because, you know....
16
3
←Rate |
05-14-2018 12:32
Comments (
0
)
Relationships are like a game of cards... "You've got to know when to hold 'em, Know when to fold 'em, Know when to walk away and know when to run"
4
2
←Rate |
05-14-2018 14:21
Comments (
0
)
Confuciushe says: Man who fight with wife all day, gets no piece at night.
3
4
←Rate |
05-14-2018 14:34 by
Jake
Comments (
0
)
Finally found my wife's G spot....... Her sister had it all along.
23
3
←Rate |
05-14-2018 14:39 by
Jake
Comments (
0
)
ME: “We have a problem, the liquor store is closed.” HER: “That's ok, I don’t drink.” ME: “Ok we have two problems.”
22
3
←Rate |
05-14-2018 14:47
Comments (
0
)
The only permanent cure for snoring is a sledgehammer.
6
1
←Rate |
05-14-2018 14:57
Comments (
0
)
Step 1: remove food from packaging Step 2: dig packaging out of trash to locate cook time
32
3
←Rate |
05-14-2018 15:01
Comments (
0
)
Pride Parade bans Drag Queens, it offends transgenders.Libs are confused on what side to take.
10
10
←Rate |
05-14-2018 15:04
Comments (
4
)
You're not going to be able to build a house with the first swing of the hammer.. so chill the heck out and learn patience...
6
1
←Rate |
05-14-2018 16:52
Comments (
0
)
«Prev
«1
5667
5668
5669
5670
5671
5672
5673
5674
6371
Next»
Submit your own funny facebook status message here:
Name:
Status Message:
X says
X is
X was
X has
X
...
characters left
Read the Rules
Site Links
Home
Funny Status Messages
Status Message Generator
TJ's Blog
About Tjshome
Contact Us
Privacy
© 1999 - 2021 Tjshome.com