Funny Status Messages

   My four year old understands leverage and negotiation better than Trump.

   Trump didn't want to drain the swamp, he wanted to rule the swamp. He failed at both.

   It isn't the alternative facts that makes the White House dangerous, it's the alternative reality.

   Report from the White House: Trump is so depressed right now, he doesn't want to be peed on.

   White House, Republican. Senate: 52% Republican. House: 54% Republican. Yet, Trump blames the Democrats for his failure? Does anyone not see the stupidity in this???

   I'm watching the Puerto Rico Open on TV and I don't a single one of the golfers is Puertorican...

   Global Warming Upside all thanks to the Republicans: Beach Front property in Oklahoma.

   Today reminds me of that old Schoolhouse Rock episode, "How a Bill Becomes an Embarrassing Failure By Paul Ryan."

   Donald and Melania Trump reportedly sleep in separate bedrooms. That's a good idea, Melania's crying keeps Donald awake at night.

   Devin Nunes is also sorry: 1) He told your abusive husband where you were hiding. 2) You were born poor. 3) He didn't ask Vlad for more cash.

   Democrat bill would force Trump to disclose White House and Mar-a-Lago visitors, including Vladimir Putin and Kanye West.

   Who needs health insurance when this current administration makes you want to die every half hour on the hour?

   New chapters in The Art of the Deal sequel: 1) Insult Your Way to an Unpassable Health Bill. 2) Build the Wall and Make Mexico Pay Nothing.

   What burns Donald Trump more, losing the Trumpcare bill or his herpes that he referred to as his "personal Vietnam"?

   Trump is already claiming that voter fraud is to blame for losing health care vote.

   I guess I missed the chapter in "The Art of the Deal" about getting rejected by the Freedom Caucus.

   Rick Perry has only done 3 things as Energy Secretary: Deny climate change, attack a gay student, and... I can't remember the third thing.

   Note to self - when you elect a joke candidate, you get a joke President.

   Trump's healthcare defence is similar to his "grab them by the P" defence. Bill said much worse than I did. Their plan is much worse than my plan. I believe that is known as the loser's limp reaction.

   Melania better drink a lot of coffee and water today, because it will take several minutes of getting peed on to help the Donald recover from this blow.