Funny Status Messages

   Liking a celebrity's tweet in the hopes they'll notice you is like voting Republican thinking you'll be a millionaire one day.

   Spicer says TrumpCare doesn't have a Plan B - "it's just Plan A and Plan A." But we all know there's gonna be a morning-after bill.

   All the GOP care about is who leaked. But what do you expect from a bunch of old white men whose bladders aren't their friends anymore.

   I thought it was cool when Superman visited Bizarro World where up is down and yes is no. But in a comic book. Not the White House.

   Those predictions of Trump starting a war to deflect Russia issues AND gain more power are coming true.

   If we keep killing entitlement, healthcare, etc, pretty soon all America will be defending are the 1% and a bunch of rocks.

   President Trump's Favorite KFC Meal: The Suckers Bucket.

   Thank God Obamacare is currently there to take care of those who have unnecessary heart palpitations over Trumpcare.

   24 million would lose coverage under Trumpcare. But on the bright side... um...er...um... BENGHAZI!!!

   Trump is spending the entire day today fishing. For compliments.

   It's easy to call it TrumpDontCare - so let's go with it.

   A funny thing about tolerant people? They're only tolerant when you agree with them.

   Does back-pedalling burn a lot of calories. If so, Trump and Spicer will have six pack abs by the end of today.

   In fairness to Trump, he thinks "vindicated" is a euphemism for getting peed on by a hooker.

   "Judge me by what I say, not what I do" - the Art of the No Deal.

   Too bad the Russians couldn't influence the vote in the House today. Trump might have a chance to win if they could.

   TOO bad we dont still have Obama as president... I'm sure a certain religon wants an apology for not having alot more people on the Westminster bridge

   You Matter!.... until you multiply yourself times the speed of light squared. Then you Energy!

   Why would you schedule a vote on a bill that is at 17% approval? Have we forgotten everything Reagan taught us?

   Went to buy a pack of smokes and this lady behind me says "you should really quit smoking".i said I know but I'm worried if I quit smoking I might start murdering. That shut her up pretty quick.lol