Funny Status Messages

   I may be delusional but at least I'm going to Mars in November.

   North Korea and China are pretty much going to do what they want, because Asian culture does not respect Russian puppets.

   I work very hard at my job but if the opportunity arises to become a rich housewife, I'm taking it.

   Well, another year with no finacial aid. That's what you get when you're white, parents are still married and they both work for a living.....

   You’re smiling next to me…. In silent stupidity

   I went to visit my grandpa in the home and I asked him, Grandpa , do you know who I am.. He said NO , but if you go to the desk , they'll tell you .

   Today I watched Sean Spicer try to defend his boss's ridiculous positions. Later I saw a moose lick his own junk for five minutes. I'm not sure whether Spicer or the moose acted with more shamelessness.

   As soon as someone makes a time machine I'm going back to when being fat & pale was a sign of nobility.

   I'm not a fan of Donald Trump, but I won't denigrate those who are....and for those that are Donald Trump fans, denigrate means to put down.

   Anyone know exactly how long we are supposed to "Shake It Off"? Taylor Swift never specified and frankly I'm exhausted.

   I need to lose weight. Baskin-Robbins just called my mom and told her because of me they're down to only 5 flavors.

   Spent 20 minutes on the treadmill this morning. Next time I might turn it on.

   Looks like they'll be building condos on Sesame Street.

   Trump supporters like me are so poor, we have to create a g-mail account just so we can eat the spam.

   Now is probably a good time to teach your Nana how to set up a GoFundMe account for her health insurance.

   Jerry Sandusky was trending this month and I thought Trump made him the head of the Family and Youth Services Bureau.

   In Trump's America, reading is for dummies. Watch more TV.

   Ivanka Trump is getting an office in the West Wing. Too bad about her creepy coworker who just so happens to be her dad.

   Sean Spicer is now claiming that Richard Nixon had a Very Limited Role in Watergate.

   Donald Trump's approval rating has dropped to 37%. Norman Bates scored higher with his mother.