Tjshome.com
Funny Status Messages
Submit Status
TJ's Blog
Image Filters
Contact US
Submit a Status Message
Funny Status Messages
Sort:
Recent
|
Oldest
|
Rating
Search Messages:
«Prev
«1
5421
5422
5423
5424
5425
5426
5427
5428
6446
Next»
Page: 5425 of 6446
I started my new Kris Kristofferson diet this morning. A beer for breakfast and another one for desert .
5
14
←Rate |
02-08-2017 20:27
Comments (
0
)
Desert is different from Dessert. You can have as many desserts as you want, but you can only stand in one desert at a time, the english laungauge will get you every time. . .
9
6
←Rate |
02-08-2017 21:01 by
JAB
Comments (
0
)
I just save $329.99 from not buying 30 vials of Restasis for dry eyes by having someone come by my house three times a day and poke me in the eyes...
6
12
←Rate |
02-08-2017 21:07 by
JAB
Comments (
0
)
The lesbians next door gave my a Rolex for my birthday. I think they misunderstood when I said "I wanna watch."
8
19
←Rate |
02-08-2017 22:53
Comments (
0
)
Why do so many people go out of their way to move to our country ..... then complain that they find our way of life offensive.
42
12
←Rate |
02-08-2017 23:52
Comments (
3
)
It took me 2 and a half years of feeding my cat to realize I don't own a cat..
5
17
←Rate |
02-08-2017 23:53 by
Platt Ave
Comments (
0
)
You know you're lowering expectations when you no longer care about raising a Pres. but someone who can flush a toilet.
3
7
←Rate |
02-09-2017 10:56
Comments (
0
)
'All you need is love.' and an IQ low enough to believe that....
9
3
←Rate |
02-09-2017 10:59
Comments (
0
)
Dear Activision, how about you come out with Call of Duty - Black Ops STOP! Sincerely, Everyone.
1
3
←Rate |
02-09-2017 11:22 by
Charles
Comments (
0
)
Everyone want to see a politician's tax returns. I'd rather see their IQ tests.
19
4
←Rate |
02-09-2017 11:23
Comments (
0
)
My life is about as organized as the $5 DVD bin at Wal-mart.
14
5
←Rate |
02-09-2017 11:29
Comments (
0
)
'Wait, let me overthink that.' Women
12
3
←Rate |
02-09-2017 14:06
Comments (
0
)
I'm telling you, Godzilla must have feet made of steel. I step on a Lego and can't walk for a month.
7
4
←Rate |
02-09-2017 14:37 by
Mickey
Comments (
0
)
uh excuse me, I'm just here looking for the Democratic Restroom.
13
6
←Rate |
02-09-2017 14:42
Comments (
0
)
I found a way to lower my bills - I quit paying them.
6
5
←Rate |
02-09-2017 14:46
Comments (
0
)
Drinking coffee in the afternoon is like eating the mushroom that makes you big in Super Mario.
6
3
←Rate |
02-09-2017 14:49
Comments (
0
)
Of all the advice given to me over the years, “There really is no bad time for a beer” has proved to be the most helpful. Thanks ma.
8
4
←Rate |
02-09-2017 14:54
Comments (
0
)
When I was a kid, I told my parents I was going to make something of myself. I think they are getting impatient.
14
3
←Rate |
02-09-2017 15:22
Comments (
0
)
Every time I'm about to win an argument with my wife someone wakes me up.
15
3
←Rate |
02-09-2017 15:24
Comments (
0
)
I was on the shopping network. corrections FoxNews. When did the WhiteHouse becomes QVC?
22
33
←Rate |
02-09-2017 16:30
Comments (
1
)
«Prev
«1
5421
5422
5423
5424
5425
5426
5427
5428
6446
Next»
Submit your own funny facebook status message here:
Name:
Status Message:
X says
X is
X was
X has
X
...
characters left
Read the Rules
Site Links
Home
Funny Status Messages
Status Message Generator
TJ's Blog
About Tjshome
Contact Us
Privacy
© 1999 - 2021 Tjshome.com