Funny Status Messages

   The majority of people who are outraged about Benghazi can't even find Libya on a map. Or knew that Benghazi is in Libya til they read this.

   Geologists say the California earthquake will most likely happen this weekend due to earthquakes being too busy during the week.

   Kim Kardashian was robbed again in Paris because they needed re-shoots for her show.

   Just heard a character say "There are no do-overs" on a show about time travel. That's the whole point of time travel!

   I will start to worry when there are mime sightings in my neighborhood.

   Shouldn't we be protesting hurricane Matthew?...tree lives matter.

   No one respects women more than DT, because if they don't respect him he will grab them by the p@ssy."

   If anyone ever asks you what would Jesus do? Remind them that flipping over tables and chasing them with a whip is within the realms of possibilities...Matthew 21:12 :)

   the bad news for The Donald is that p#ssy is one of the few things that sticks to teflon

   The best thing about spotify, is that I can see who I could actually ride in a car with and not want to strangle before we ever go anywhere.

   I'm pretty sure I just heard the lady on the Clorox commercial tell me I can use their product to clean up a murder.

   Don't worry about Trump, his supporters will still vote for him if he killed a baby in broad daylight with witnesses watching. So what The Donald loves to grope women?!?!

   Worst. Apology. Ever.

   Russia lodged a formal complaint with the United Nations over a U.N. official's condemnations of Trump. Proof that Trump is Putin's puppet.

   Trump groped a woman 10 years ago and the mainstream media blows a gasket. Hillary had 10 people killed and the mainstream media ignores it.

   The Orange man sure has a knack for sabotaging himself.

   I am still voting for Trump!!!!!

   What part of "billionaire playboy" don't you understand?

   Facebook live exposing sh*tty cellphones 2015

   The right says Hillary Clinton is responsible for her husband. Why isn’t Melania Trump?