Funny Status Messages

   We are paying you to work, not chase fictional video game characters with your cell phone all day. Save it for your break time or lunch. Otherwise you'll have plenty of time unemployed to "catch them all".

   Did you know, Hillary Clinton killed Kurt Cobain because grunge was making pantsuits obsolute.

   Black Lives Matter doesn't mean other lives don't. Like people who say "Save The Rainforests" aren't saying "F*ck all other types of forests".

   Meanwhile In Canada: "We are receiving requests from everywhere," Stephane Dion, Foreign Affairs Minister, on the search for a peacekeeping mission for Canada.

   So now it's offensive to say All Lives Matter? I thought you wanted equality?

   'Black Lives Matter' is taking off while 'Just stop breaking the law yo' gets no support

   ...... It's Dark vs Light .... Not Black vs White .......

   Being sick & running out of tissues makes me think about all those times I was all willy-nilly with my tissues like some millionaire.

   Woke up this morning with a song in my heart. Sadly, that song was "I want a Hippopotamus for Christmas".

   H R Clinton Deleted/Destroyed over 33,000 Emails AFTER being ordered to surrender her Private Server & ALL contents to Authorities. Because she deleted the emails Clinton is disqualified from holding public office under U.S. Code Title 18, Section 2071

   I thought a President you were suppose to FIX the problems facing the country ..... Not Make them WORSE!

   Life lesson: If you run out of Vicks vapor rub, never place IcyHot in your nose in place of it or it will make you scream in pain. #thingsthatmakeyouscreaminpain

   Woke up this morning with a wine glass in my hand, Whose wine, What wine? Where the H3LL did I dine? .... Awe who cares ... it was free!

   The only reason I'd ever get a sex change operation is to see what it's like to be right all the time.

   .... Ya ....... When my lady says she'll be ready in 5 minutes, I know I have barely just enough time to fly to the Moon, write a poem about the Moon while I'm there before we actually go.

   ..... LOVE comes Naturally ........ HATE .... is learned .....

   Certain lives matter ... But only when they are k.illed by cops .... But not so much when they are k.illed by each other ....

   What does Elizabeth Warren and Rachel Dolezal have in common? Neither one of them knows they're white. . .

   Bet you've never been at a party the cops have shown up to where Raffi's Bananaphone was the jam playing.

   Where's B.lack Lives M@tter when 6 kids in Chicago get shot by other Black kids? Deserves an honest answer ... right?