Funny Status Messages

   Here's hopeing Kanye's next surprise cancellation will be "Keeping Up with the Kardashians."

   Here's hoping Kanye's next surprise cancellation will be "Keeping Up with the Kardashians."

   Canadian Birthday Traditions: Apologizing for the candles being so hot.

   When I want to trim down my friend's Facebook list I give my opinion and let nature do the rest.

   They give you a poker chip when you reach 6 months clean in Gambler's Anonymous.

   The chances of me going to a party increases 100% if they have a dog.

   .... It turns out that Hillary Clinton has 21 media advocates on her campaign payroll. Isn't that kinda like having 21 Used car salesmen hired to sell one car?

   Let's face it folks. Time for a real "CHANGE" Voting for trump is a no brainer. Don't you think he'll have the right people in place as President. Like Earl Pitts says, "WAKE UP AMERICA"

   That Judge was associated with the Mexican activist group "La Raza" Dummy and yes you do join that group.

   Somebody please remind me who founded the Klan before uneducated accusations are made.

   .... The Older I get the meaner I get .... I'm pretty sure within the next few years I'll be biting people.

   Hillary Clinton is the first person who identifies as a female to become the presumptive Democrat Party nominee. Although Bernie ran as a close second.

   The real question now is what are all these kids going to do with the Bernie tattoos? Maybe Hillary should offer a removal fee forgiveness plan....

   50 lbs of fruit flavored candy must be good for me right?

   I just got my ancestry.com DNA test back! So excited!!! Turns out I'm 61% Italian, 15% Irish, 10% Greek and 14% Alcohol.... Not bad for a Thursday morning!

   be smart, pretend to be stupid!

   Never had much use for a knight in shining armor but a fine looking man in a pair of Levis....that's a whole 'nother tale.

   The law of attraction is you will lick someone where they pee. . .

   A Rabbi asked me why we Catholics believe in Purgatory when there's no actual mention of it in the Bible. I told him it's the food. They serve both Angel Hair Pasta AND Devil's Food Chocolate Cake.

   .... Bacon ..... Proof God meant for us to eat meat!