urboyblue Funny Status Messages

   End of the world headlines... National Enquirer: O.J. and Nicole, together again

   Mayans lol...and to think MTV started "Punked"!!

   I bet the people that really died yesterday got up to Heaven and was like "WTF?? Where in the heII is everybody else"??

   Headed out and about shopping, maybe the mall and trying out my new Mistletoe belt buckle!!

   OK girls...we aren't ignoring you, we are not being disrespectful, we hear the phone ringing, we hear the text notification!! We still love you, thank you for all you do.....So go shopping or get your nails done, go out with the girls or get something wax

   I went to that "Farmer's Dating" website I saw on TV....why do all the women look like sheep??

   Guys, if you are ever watching 'Indecent Proposal' and your wife or girlfriend asks: "Would you let someone sleep with me for $1,000,000?" Just lie!!

   I use to wonder what'd it be like to read other people's minds....I got Facebook and now I am over it!!

   The bartender at Buffalo Wild Wings must be a 49er fan!! They have added a power button right beside the sprinkler system!!

   When I hear someone say "Valentimes" I wanna punch them in the throat.....it's an N for No wonder you're alone

   When a skinny girl always says "I'm fat" do you ever feel like saying you're skinny and you know it but your insecurity is not attractive so a fat girl with confidence makes you look unappealing, so start eating!!

   I could scroll down my Facebook page and write a country song!!

   Now that Britney Griner's collegiate career is over....do you think he will end up with the Heat and Lebron?

   Bet if a gunman opened fire while Obama was onstage yesterday....he would use them as human shields!! Kinda like he is doing now!!

   Our kids are losing their imagination....hopefully soon they will have an app for that!!

   I believe if a tree and a woman fall in the woods....the woman still makes the noise!!

   I had a missed call at 3 am and I just now called it back. It was Jake from StateFarm

   Oh it's Cinco de Mayo....that's why I keep seeing cars with 22 people inside back through a red light with a traffic cam, family portraits!!