hihuggiehi Funny Status Messages

   I think all Walmart bathrooms are required by law to look like the set of one of the "Saw" movies.

   You can tell Monopoly is an old game because there's a luxury tax and rich people can go to jail.

   Katy Perry kissed a guy that looks like a girl and apparently didn't like it.

   I'm starting to think I'll never be old enough to know better.

   The adult version of Operation is trying not to break a tortilla chip while dipping it into a jar of salsa.

   Of everything I've ever accomplished in my life, I'm most proud of the fact that I've never seen an episode of Jersey Shore.

   just took crocs off a man sleeping in the airport & threw them in the trash because it was the right thing to do

   If my calculations are correct then someone else did them for me.

   When I'm drunk I just hit any buttons and put my faith in autocorrect.

   My doctor drums up business by refusing to refill my prescriptions until I come in to sit in their waiting room full of people with the flu.

   Before you make up your mind, open it.

   One politician endorsing another is like poo endorsing diarrhea.

   They're coming out with a line of Kardashian Barbie Dolls. As if the actual Kardashians aren't fake enough.

   If you think paper beats rock, please hold this piece of paper in front of your face for a second…

   At the young age of 5, a bear told me that I am the only person who can prevent forest fires. Why I was chosen, I'll never know.

   If you think 7 years of bad luck are to much for breaking a mirror.. Try breaking a condom

   They should just make highway rest stops out of Purell.

   When I play a fighting game, I press random buttons and hope for the best.

   I need to talk to you” is the one sentence that has the power to make you remember every bad thing you've ever done in your life

   I'm following my dreams because I tried reality and that didn't work out so well.