fadolo Funny Status Messages

   "When life gives you eggs, turn them into omelets!" is probably a terrible slogan for an abortion clinic.

   Those awkward car rides with people you barely know.

   Silly hairdresser, always puts my cape on backwards.

   R.I.P to the virginitys about to be lost tonight.

   (╮°-°)╮┳━┳ " make me a Sandwich!" .. Girlfriend : ( -.-) "HELL NO!" ... (╯°□°)╯ ┻━┻ "THE HELL YOU SAY?!?"

   Charles Barkley's head looks like an Angry Bird.

   Shoutout to the girls that got that good rooster neck

   Chuk Noris knows everything. Except for one thing. And he knows what it is.

   there a way to write a Yelp review for one of my girlfriend's farts?

   I just finished washing a load of paper plates if anyone's wondering about my bank account balance.

   gdfdyddhfjhsglqtpgng MACARENA gfsfjkdhkwgjldhlasgjebhhf MACARENA dhshjfdhjfbfjhgnnnnbbnh MACARENA EEEEEEEEHH MACARENA

   The wife doesn't like the term "fingerbang" so I said I wouldn't call it that anymore. Now I say digitblasting, she don't like that either.

   I got arrested for punching this guy at a new years eve party..... when you here an arab counting down from ten your instincs kick in.

   My head says, "go to the gym." But my heart says, "stay on the internet forever and eat!"

   If you're fat and you are sitting down, there's a 100% chance your crack is showing.

   Guys with great penmanship probably jack-off to other men with that fancy writing hand of theirs.

   My goal on Saturday is to spend the maximum amount of time being horizontal as possible.

   Mustaches are just wings for your nose

   Hoes Love buying Sharpies so they can draw on their eyebrows like this (^_^) (~_~) (`_`) ("_") (-_-) (/_\) (-_=) (~_^) (-_~) (*_~)

   Eat well, stay fit, die anyway.