L Funny Status Messages

   "never on schedule, but always on Facebook."

   money is the root of all evil I thought But when I'm broke is usually when I have the evilest thoughts.

   2012: get rich or die Mayan!

   froget the world ending in 2012 , my inspection sticker ends in 2012!!

   I got a fresh loaf of bread now I'm ready for my new years toast.

   I could post the funniest status ever and I'll still get at least one dislike. Hi hater!

   Ladies stop wearing them pajama pants and them dirty Uggs!!

   What's the difference between weather and climate? You can't weather a tree, but you can climate.

   you know your cooking sucks when you gotta post todays menu on facebook for it to be appreciated.

   I only knew one LA Clipper fan before this season and he used to get made fun of everyday for it.

   after you break down in a car you feel so violated, you don't even want the car no more.

   if you use the word "chillaxin" your automatically a cornball in my book.

   Im the guys she marrys, your the guy she only loves in a handicapped bathroom.

   party at camp crystal lake tonight all "people I may know" are invited.

   I wonder how police on bikes arrest people. "Alright, get in the basket"

   Too many hood guys not enough good guys..

   its been so windy lately, I think mother nature ate some bad Taco Bell.

   perfume and frustration...smells like you got stood up.

   preparing for sunshine but expecting rain.

   Im not a Giants fan but I pay NY taxes so I can root for them whenever I want.