Kisstopher Funny Status Messages

   I can't believe someone actually went through all the trouble to create a fake Facebook profile, complete with fake photos, fake friends and fake status updates just so they could befriend and stalk me. I don't know whether to feel honored or terrifie

   Women beg for love wit sex and guys beg for sex wit love.

   A silly woman will look at what a man drives. A wise woman will look at what drives the Man.

   The Internet? Is that thing still around? - Homer Simpson

   The difference between "INVOLVED" & "COMMITTED" is like an Egg & Bacon Breakfast, the chicken was INVOLVED and the pig was COMMITTED.

   Sometimes people don't notice or appreciate the things we do for them, until we stop doing it. The they are like, “Why don't you stalk me anymore”

   I believe in the sun even when it's night time, I believe in love even when I am yet to find it, I believe in God even when he is yet to answer my prayers, I believe in heaven even when I have been to hell and back.

   Every man will claim he's different. Every man will claim he's loyal. Every man will claim he is your knight in shining amour. Every man will claim he is your prince. But no man will ever claim he is full of sh*t.

   Don't piss me off and then tell me to calm down. That's just like stabbing someone and then asking them not to bleed.

   I may have opened the door, but you entered of your own free will.

   Dear Enemies, I have so much more for you to be mad about. Just be patient.

   Don't you dare come back running to me when you get treated the exact same way you treated me.

   Sometimes a lil weed is all you need.

   Wedding Rings - the world's smallest handcuffs.

   That rather uncomfortable moment when you see a really really really ugly person and you thank god that the person can't read minds.

   You may be worthless to one person, but priceless to another. You just have to be smart enough to differentiate between the two.

   I am not a mirror: I see you completely differently from the way you see yourself. Bear that in mind next time you want to ask me how you look.

   Sometimes, in a relationship, there comes a time you have to quit bullsh*tting and just shut up, swallow your pride, accept that you are wrong and apologize. It's not giving up, it's called growing up.

   Don't say all guys are the same when it's just you who keeps falling for the same type of guys. The losers and the abusers.

   Coffee without caffeine. Beer without alcohol. Milk without fat. What's next ? Marriage without sex?