Hot Tea Funny Status Messages

   FOUND: IPod Touch 4G, 32GB, white. Must be able to match the naked pics I found in the photos.

   When you say Jesus backwards it sounds just like "sausage."

   I don't know about you, but I can't wait to be ashamed about what I do this weekend.

   Call me insensitive but I'm going ahead and declaring Art Modell's passing as the Browns first win this season. 1-0 baby!

   I'll start to believe video games cause people to be violent when I see someone get arrested for killing a pig by slingshotting a bird at it.

   Not even a gun range has enough good guys with a gun to stop one bad guy with a gun!

   It turns out Muse is more than Musicians United for Safe Energy. It's an okay band too!

   Instead of drinking beer today I'm drinking wine, because I have a cold and wine has vitamin C.

   My money is on Sacha Baron Cohen playing Dzhokhar Tsarnaev in the biopic.

   Gas is so cheap now that Porter Ranch is giving it away!