FLIPPHONESCOTT Funny Status Messages

   Ok mother nature we beat the snow record now there's no need to run the score up!

   thats the last time I buy Sushi from the dollar store!

   We all have a drawer by the sink filled with junk. Can you please check your drawer for a Boeing 777

   2,4,6,8 Wichita is not a state!

   I must not be real stupid, television has not made me famous yet!

   Call me old school, but cigarettes should not have USB ports

   yes I have a dirty mind, and you are in it…

   if you had to use a treadmill to re charge your cell phone we would all be health nuts!

   my dinner taste like lazyness and the day before payday!

   My bucket list: 4 drumsticks, 2 thighs, 2 mashed potatoes with gravy, and 2 biscuits. Extra crispy

   Come on ‪#‎Chevy‬ just one commercial break without Kid Rock

   Getting over body issues is a like getting over a fear of heights. The trick is not to look down.

   still have not used all the free hours from my AOL start up disk

   Super creepy Rob Lowe and I are going to kick Rob Lowes ass

   Math quiz! If I have 1 boss and she has 4 personalities. How much should I spend on her x-mas present ?

   When you realize Charles Manson is getting more play than you!

   When you realize winter is still 5 week away!

   somedays I could do without the life lesson!

   my mature level IS , I still giggle when singing about nuts in christmas carols

   when you Realize that loud sound in the dryer is your cell phone! DAMMIT!!!!!!!!