Bill Funny Status Messages

   Why is President Obama out of the country and on vacation when this Charlie Sheen thing is still playing out?

   Why is Obama so interested in "liberating" Libya anyways, is he planning a vacation there?

   (_̅_̲̲̲̲̲̅̅̅̅̅̅̅_̅__̅_̅_̅()~~~ passs it!!!

   Sorry friends......But from the advice of my lawyer, it's in my best interest not to try out Facebook's new 'Questions' feature tonight : (

   Reminder: National Atheist's Day April 1st.......

   I poured milk on my Cheerios this morning and they turned into Fruit Loops......But hey, there is no need for concern : )

   I'm saving my April fools joke for tomorrow. No one will see them coming...... ; )

   Neighbor not a radioactive zombie. Btw, completely unrelated, but any ideas for an "I'm sorry" gift for someone in hospital.......

   Travel Tip: Don't fly on Southwest, unless you like your airplanes with sunroofs........

   Obama re-election: Beyond 'Hope' and 'Change' ... Now its 'Poverty and Debt'........

   The Cavs win twice, the Tribe sweeps Boston, the Heat lose and LeBron's mom gets arrested. You can't deny that KARMA Cleveland.......

   Happy Government Shutdown Day everyone!!

   News Flash: Bears in Yosemite rejoicing over possible government shutdown.

   Clearly - Tiger Woods is getting laid again......

   FYI Nic Cage, If you keep telling police to arrest you, eventually they will do it....Hope the judge throws a book at him, you know one that has good scripts & acting tips in it!

   Monday sure is an awful way to spend 1/7th of our life......

   If only I had stuck with dodgeball since elementary. I could have gone pro.........

   Fast food places gonna be bumpin today, Happy 4/20 (̅_̅_̅_̅_̅_̅_̅_̅_̅_̅_̅_̅̅_̅()ڪے~

   NEWS FLASH: 2 air traffic controllers fired for sleeping on the job, someone might want to wake them up to tell them the news.......

   Easter chocolate tastes so much better than normal chocolate...