friday OR weekend Funny Status Messages

   Friday night

   3 horrible facts: Today is not Friday Tomorrow is not Friday The day after is not Friday

   Thanksgiving: Being thankful for what you have and those you love. Black Friday: Trampling those you love to save 15% on something you don't have. Cyber Monday: "Hey, babe. Sorry I killed your dad Friday. Here's an iTunes gift card to ease the pain

   Black Friday special!!! Stay at home and save 100%.

   Wall Street closed at 41,488.19 +674.62 on Friday. Keep clutching those pearls, ohh

   The only reason there was a tiny bump on Wall Street on Friday was because U.S. investors were desperately looking for bargains at the end of a horrific week. Please don't post about Wall Street unless you know what you're actually talking about.

   That should keep ya'll busy for the weekend.

   Weekend Update on SNL literally skinned M^G^ nutcases alive tonight. So good 😂

   If Taylor Swift wasn't musically successful, at best, she'd be a weekend weather forecaster on a local news station.

   Happy Thanksgiving! Just remember that Black Friday shoppers can still block and tackle better than the Dallas Cowboys on Thanksgiving. Let that sink in!