Marshall the great Funny Status Messages

   My mirror and my camera have two completely different ideas of what I look like.

   n't it ironic that to be popular on social networks, you have to sacrifice your social life.

   I think it's funny that whoever deleted me from Facebook was so important that I dont know who it is...

   If someone ever tells you "we need to talk" they dont care about anything you have to say.

   I cheated on my fears, broke up with my doubts, got engaged to my faith and now I'm marrying my dreams.

   When something bad happens you have three choices. You can either let it define you, let it destroy you, or you can let it strengthen you.

   An angry mob of nerds can be dangerous. The only thing stopping them from tipping cars is physical ability.

   The worst part about waking up alone is not having someone to kick out of bed to make me coffee.

   I keep trying to avoid trouble but I think it likes me...

   Screw getting an alarm system. I've seen Home Alone, I know what to do.

   I hate when I fall into the trap of acting like I know something and then get asked follow-up questions.

   Impossible is just a fancy way of saying, "No on else has figured out a way to do this yet."

   I wish I could make it illegal for anyone to wake up before 6am.

   There are two types of people in this world: Those who have a Facebook account and those who shouldn't have a Facebook account.

   I just saved a bunch of money on car insurance by switching...my car into reverse and driving away from the accident.

   If you only remember one thing today, remember this.

   Who is wise? He that learns from everyone. Who is powerful? He that governs his passions. Who is rich? He that is content. Who is that? Nobody.

   Now that you really think about it, you've never seen me and Batman in the same room have you?

   This 'places' thing still scares me a little. It's like saying, "Hey stranger, come find me, look I made it really easy for you."

   I had social networking when I was a kid, too. I think back then it was called "outside."