friday OR weekend Funny Status Messages

   Screw the government, let's all smoke weed this weekend

   The first five days after the weekend are always the hardest

   Fourth of July weekend is when we finally get to play our favorite American guessing game, Firework or Gunshot!!!

   It’s Fourth of July weekend, or, as I call it, Exploding Christmas.

   Let's proudly wave our American flags made in China this weekend.

   Public Service Announcement: If you plan on using Illegal Fireworks this July 4th weekend .... Please remember to remove their Sombreros first.

   To all of the Canadians celebrating Canada Day in America this weekend ..... Your Welcome.

   If you don't lose a finger or two this weekend can you really even call yourself an American.

   I'm gonna party this weekend like its THE PURGE

   Very impressed with the quick action and massive protests by Black Lives Matter in Chicago this weekend protesting the death of 15 young Blacks so far in July. HAHA ... Just kidding .... They don't really care about black deaths in Chicago.

   Often wonder if ax murderers hide in the woods or live in regular houses. Anyway, have fun camping this weekend.

   Done! Just completed my weekend to-do list from 2007.

   I hope the person who invented the 5-day work week, with only a 2-day weekend, died alone and poor.

   Getting hyped for the weekend is soooo mainstream.

   Weekend plans: Driving around downtown throwing Big Macs at girls with a thigh gap...... *bonus points for getting it into the thigh gap.

   Just ironed a crease in these basketball shorts so I can wear them for Casual Friday.

   Heading out for a weekend camping trip. Anybody know the WiFi password for "the woods"?

   Told my wife I wanted our kids every other weekend and she reminded me that we're married & live together so I'd have to see them every day.

   I'm never sure how much ball cleavage to show when I wear my Casual Friday Jean Shorts

   Hillary Clinton was Diagnosed on Friday with Highly Contagious Bacterial Pneumonia and has been out in public all weekend! Is there something about the words "Highly Contagious" that she and her "Doctors" don't understand? Well that's ObamaCare For ya!